It honestly scares me how much changes in less than a months time.

This group of people meant everything to me, and now, for whatever reason my relationship with some of them is dangling on a thin string. I'm hurt. 

What are things going to be like in six more months? Am I even going to talk to them anymore?

His grace is unending and unfailing

This week has been a heck of a journey, as is every walk with God. Knowing when you need to take a step back in order to follow his plan and continue to love yourself. I took a leap of faith; knowing that I'd ruin something I loved. Hurting someone that is so dear to me in order to keep true to Him. I surrendered pursuing relationships to fall deeper in love with my Jesus.

In the last seven days I've learned so much about myself. I don't like to be attacked, or to be told that I'm doing something wrong. Not with everything, but somethings I really don't like to be told about. So I get stubborn, and refuse to look at it with a different perspective. So I miss an important critique, and go about this week feeling bitter and angry.I some how lost myself for a few days. I lost my compassion and love and empathy. I was fueled only by what is "fun" and easy to me. 

God extended his grace to me tonight. Slapping me in the face with the realization that I was running from what His plan is. I was sprinting without looking back.

And I guess that is why being twenty is so tough. Not because you have to decide what you want to do with the rest of your life and go to school for it. But because we have several strings tied to us. A string for a boyfriend, family, what you think is "fun", and then God. Being twenty is tough to me because you are being pulled by each of these ties but you have to decide which string you need to cut. What you think will betray your walk with God. 

I want to do right by Him. I know what it is that I want to do. What He wants me to do. It all just took a good slap in the face by someone that loves and sees my soul.

Growth takes time.

Sometimes, life's simplest pleasure is coming home after work and just being alone. 

A few years ago, this blissful feeling was so foreign. I never gave myself the time or space to learn what it was that I liked.  

These are the days I most look forward to now. Getting homework finished and listening to music as loud as can be.

Aside from all of this, I scored on some cute future home things.

On top of spending days with myself, indulging in sweets and cats, I spend most of  my time with Diggie and Eldred. I couldn't explain to anyone why these guys are my absolute favorite, but they just are.  Most of the time we explore things and climb man made cliffs. Every day is a new adventure. I feel very blessed to have these two, along with all of my other friends, in my life.

The in between days

My favorite season is right around the corner!

This means beautiful reds, oranges and yellows are going to be all over. Pumpkin flavored and scented everything, and I get to bring out my scarves and coats again!

Until all of my favorites come back, I'll just enjoying the cool breezes that August brings in.

Along with fall, I love vintage kitchen anything! I found these cute things for only $6! 

If only I had a kitchen of my own to enjoy them in.

My boy Dexter loves them, too.

 So happy almost Fall, Y'all!

Lately..

If I could photograph everything with my eyes, I would have so many more stories and love notes to write about my life as of lately. I am so completely happy with where I am. I am at a place of peace that I never knew could exist. Although it's taken a lot of heartache and deliberate mental punches to my face, I'm happy to be here. I feel as though I can do everything I've always wanted to.

I wrote a short post on leaving my ex boyfriend. It was so very hard to do. I had so many emotional ties to him. I was dependent on him financially, I had no idea how I was able to get by after him. I needed to leave him though. I felt worthless and numb when I was with him. I wasn't allowed to be 20, I had no room to grow as a person. I left him in May, and since then,I've been getting closer to the friends who had always been there since I met them. I've done so much in just a few short months. 

My favorite boys, Eldred and Diggie and I took a trip to Savannah, we explored as much as we could in just one day. We spent so much on Savannah bee company honey and Tea from the Tea room. I really wanted to go into the Paris Market, but it was closed by the time we got there. Next time!

I've gone a few counties over with the same two people and explore Glenn st Mary Nursery. We stayed there a few nights, I saved a turtle, saw deer, rabbits and beautiful old buildings. I was able to breathe fully for the first time out there.

I've gone to Big Talbot Island with Diggie and we climbed on all of the fallen trees, held baby hermit crabs and just basked in the sun all day until we went back into town and got candy from a local shop called, Sweet Pete's.

I couldn't ask for a better summer. I'm blessed and in love with all of the wonderful things that have come into my life.

Happy August, Y'all.

 

So, I've been away for quite awhile, not that anyone is here to notice. Just in case, though, I'll explain why.

I left my boyfriend. Long story short, he was abusive.

And I am so happy. Renewed, recovered, and healed.

I've been spending time with friends, traveling and exploring. 

I've been spending time at home.

I've been spending so much more time outside.

And I've come to realize, how loved I am, and how much I love.

                   "Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living."

Hello, April

                       

A few new cute things

                       

 All I need to do now is choose which notebook to use first!